At Radiate Digital, we generally strive to create beautiful, modern designs that are made to scale across a number of screen sizes and devices.
But we realize that not everyone shares our aesthetical tastes.
So rather than dragging established sites into the mid-2010’s kicking and screaming, we thought we’d broaden our offerings. For those who thought the internet was just fine when it first became a thing, we’ve got the perfect solution for your business.
Retro Throwback Sites!
Are you ready to party like it’s 1999?
Let’s be real, between ripped jeans, high-waist pants, and excessive amounts of denim, the 90’s are pretty cool again. It’s probably only a matter of time before 90’s web design comes back to being cool again too.
With our retro sites, not only can we appeal to a bigger audience of later adopters, but we can be simultaneously be ahead of where design trends are inevitably heading.
But enough talking. Time to show you exactly what we mean:
We’re fairly certain that if Radiate was around during the 90’s, our site would have looked something like this. Truth is, we like this design so much, we might just switch over to this being our main site. As you can see, there are a number of amazing features about these retro sites such as….
Repeating Background Patterns!
Who wants a boring solid color or high-res image for the background of their website when you can have a pattern that repeats the same thing for all of eternity?
White Text Over Dark Backgrounds!
Nothing pops like white text over a black background. This is just a scientifical fact. Will reading this text lead to potential blindness 15-20 years from now? Who cares? That’s a long time away, and we’ll probably have robot eyes by then anyway.
Speaking of text….
Excessive Text Overload!
People come to your website because they want to know every single thing there is to know about you, and they want to know it immediately. What better way to learn all of that than to read giant paragraphs of text on the homepage?
It’s really about as close as you can get in real life to downloading chunks of knowledge and skills like they did in The Matrix. With our websites, you’ll become the chosen one. Just maybe don’t try dodging bullets….
Tiny Stock Images!
You’re going to need some extra room to display all that text. The easiest solution is to decrease the size of pictures on your site. People didn’t come to your site to see pictures. They came to read text.
Paragraphs on paragraphs of text.
Since the images are so small, stock photos will work perfectly. People won’t even be able to tell the difference between them and unique, professional photography.
Gratuitous Amounts of Drop Shadows!
Drop shadows are cool because it looks like your text is hovering over the page. Basically magic. We’re making magic happen on your website.
The Return of Impact Font!
It’s called Impact for a reason. Because it hits your corneas like a left hook from Apollo Creed in his prime. Too many websites feel passive these days. With Impact font placed everywhere, visitors will feel like they’re being attacked when they land on your homepage.
Attacked with awesomeness, that is.
Content Designed for a 15in Square Monitor!
Sure, some (read: most) people have large, widescreen monitors sitting on their desks these days, but we think monitors were plenty good when they were between 13-15inchs and mostly square shaped. That’s why all of your site content will be inexplicably crammed into left corner of your browser, ready to show all of it’s glory at once.
Unless your on a phone or tablet…
Who wants people looking at their site on a phone? Internet browsing was created for computers, and with our retro sites, it’ll stay that way. These websites will in no way attempt to adapt to a smart device, leaving those mobile viewers with two options:
– Pinch and zoom so they can actually read your excessive amounts of paragraphs.
– Buy a real computer like an adult
Optimized Exclusively for Internet Explorer!
Remember when Internet Explorer was king of the internet? Those were the days.
In honor of the retro functionality, we’re optimizing these sites to run exclusively on all versions of Internet Explorer.
Will they still work on modern, functional browsers? Possibly. No promises.
They should, however, work on Netscape just fine. No guarantees on whether or not you can get Netscape working whatsoever though.
Built in Lycos Search Functionality!
Google? More like “Who-gle?”, am I right? Everyone knows search engines peaked with Lycos, so we’re bringing it back.
“Lycos, go get these people an awesome 90’s style website!”
Ready to Get Started?
If this sounds like everything you’ve been dreaming of your website being for the past 16 years or so, then let’s get started!
Just hop over to our contact page, fill out the form, and simply say “Bring me back to the 90’s”. Alternatively, you can copy and paste lyrics from Nirvana, Pearl Jam, or Creed, and we’ll know exactly what you’re looking for in a website.
Can’t wait to get started with you!
What do you miss the most about the 90s? What website did you visit the most during the 90s? Were you even alive during the 90s?